Sample Tips from Mining Families Rock

SAMPLE TIPS FROM MINING FAMILIES ROCK

Coping in the early days of FIFO/DIDO: We all cope differently when things get tough. Some need more contact; others prefer to withdraw. If your partner seems distant and keen to get off the phone in the early days, try not to take it personally.

How to cope when you’re missing your kids:Remember that your children will only worry and panic about dad being away for Christmas or a big birthday if the adults seem to be worried or panicky. Look at this as a great opportunity to model resilience and problem-solving skills.

Beating the black day blues:Black days are a bit like Mondayitis, only on a bigger scale. For some miners, it’s the final day of their time off. For others it’s the actual day of travel back to the mine site. Next time you are having a black day, take the time to think about how you feel (sad, anxious or stressed) and how you are acting. Sometimes, even just noticing your black day thoughts can help.

Mining mums who work away: Make sure guilt doesn’t affect your parenting style. If you do feel guilty about working away or long hours on the job, offload to supportive friends and/or family to get it off your chest, rather than changing how you interact with your kids.

Don’t let money make you miserable: Don’t alter your commitments (i.e. new house or bigger loan repayments) until you are sure that mining works for you. FIFO/DIDO families don’t do too well when they feel stuck with the lifestyle.

Working away – helping children to cope:Allow your children to talk about how they feel, and offer an extra cuddle when they’re sad. Avoid saying things like “be brave” or “don’t be silly” because they might start hiding feelings from you, thinking they are unacceptable feelings to talk about.

Helping teenagers to cope:some FIFO/DIDO parents feel a little guilty or sorry for their kids, and so expect less of them. Strangely enough, this can be bad for their self esteem. Encouraging and even expecting your teenager to take part in family activities and help around the house is not only good for their confidence; it’s great for setting up opportunities for communication.

Sex and the mining couple: Ifyou have differing libidos, don’t fall into the trap of thinking the ‘problem’ rests with the person who wants less or more sex. Setting the issue up as one person’s problem just makes it harder to tackle and increases the tension, frustration, guilt and blame. Try approaching your differing sex drives as a team, working together to break your ‘sex cycles’.

Marriage breakdowns and infidelity: If you have a strong relationship based on mutual respect, interests and love for each other (and you can openly discuss any worries or issues as they arise) there is no reason the FIFO/DIDO lifestyle should negatively impact your marriage or partnership.

Mine camp etiquette:Get yourself clean and tidy before breakfast and dinner in the mess hall.No-one wants to sit beside someone with half the day’s work still on their overalls.

MINING FAMILIES ROCK – FACTS AT A GLANCE

Authors: mining wife and mum Alicia Ranford; registered psychologist Angie  Willcocks; journalist Lainie Anderson

Recommended retail:     $24.95 + $x postage/handling